Thursday, January 17, 2013

A Mothering Manifesto

Through a series of events over the Christmas holiday I've found my life taking a new direction. A slower path  full of wandering. I'm looking forward to it.  I must say I'm a bit scared. This is a period of my life I never envisioned.  I knew at some point it was a possibility but I didn't know know I would suddenly be forced into it.

One of the most liberating thing about the whole process was the words that my husband gave me.  He wants me to work on creative income resources (using my creativity / passion to fuel a business), enjoy cooking and mothering, nap when Little Mac naps (and he also said in the same breath that motherhood is hard so I need to nap), to allow myself to hold Little Mac for a nap if we are having that kind of a day, and he also said that he didn't know how to say it but that he's always wanted me to be a stay at home wife. How liberating these words were.  To have any pressure that I may felt from him dissipate.  Especially considering that I've been feeling so much pressure these past months.   

I have to be honest though.  This whole thing doesn't come without some fear.  People like Barefoot always scare me because I don't know if I have that gene in me. Don't know if I'm capable of that compassion and tolerance and love.  I suppose I will find out.

Another thing that I have been struggling with for awhile now is enjoying the gift of children.  I know that is so over said but on my snowy drive home today I was overwhlemed with the sanctity of this blessing that I have been given in this life bestowed to me for care.  Not only do I have human emotions of love towards my baby I also have a Divine calling to love her as Christ.

I know she will be so much more happy to have my full attention.  It seems on those days when I'm not giving her my full attention and dividing it among things she gets cranky and annoyed with all technology in our house.  Because lets be honest it's the technology that is often the impeder of quality time.

I'm not sure how I will organize my days now and where my focus will lie but I know my priorities will start with worship, baby, and husband and grow from there at God's pace in my life.  And for that new found simplicity I am extremely grateful.  

(My wonderful sister in law took these great pics at Ainsley's baptism in Saint October.  And yes, that's the church we got married at!)  

1 comment:

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