Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Why I Cloth Diaper

I guess I technically can't say that I cloth diaper yet.  I haven't even had the little munchkin yet.  But I am planning on cloth diapering and well the planning alone makes me feel like I am cloth diapering.  From the black hole that is online forums, chats, and blog posts about cloth diapering, to the 50 million loads of laundry to "prepare" my diapers, I certainly feel like this is a lot of work.  Already.

But the reason that I chose to cloth diaper, the real reason, might surprise you.  Sure when normal people in normal conversations ask me why I cloth diaper I site environmental, health, and economical facts that make cloth diapering sound more like a liberal left wing hippie choice.  But really it's a front.  I'd like to be honest.  At least for a moment about the real reason that I chose cloth diapering.  And breastfeeding for that matter.

The other day I was on my way home from Sacramento and I decided to stop at the Pluto's in Davis.  As I was waiting in line there was a women with her maybe 8 month old and I noticed an amber necklace.  It immediately caught my attention and I was so intrigued I'm sure I bordered on stalking because I couldn't take my eyes off of them.  The amber necklace, the Bopa wrap, the breastfeeding, the cloth diapers; all signs.  I was memorized.  Here it was again.  Right in my face.  One of those mothers.  One of those mothers that I wish I was fearless enough to become.

These mothers.  Perhaps you know the type, maybe not.  These mothers are the ones that live to be a mother.  These mothers are the ones that have dreamed of being mothers and what type of mother they would become.  They make motherhood seem so romantic even if they personally, and readily, admit that it is anything but hard work.  But they thrive on the hard work and they create their lives around this premise of complete and utter focus on attending to those precious little lives they have been given.  These are the mothers that I am talking about.  These are the mothers that I wish I was fearless enough to be.

These mothers wouldn't think twice about leaving their jobs once pregnant, wouldn't think twice about extra laundry for the sake of their child's health, wouldn't compromise on anything, and have an innate momma bear sense that allows them to protect, nurture, and thrive as mothers.  This is why I am clinging to the idea of cloth diapers and exclusive breastfeeding.  My hope is that by clinging to these things that I may in fact find myself lucky enough to make friends with a few of these mothers and be inspired to be a better mother.  Because let's be honest, I don't think I have that innate sense of motherhood that These Mothers have.  I believe that cloth diapering is good but I believe more that it will create a physical working connection that will attach me to motherhood.  That it will add something distinctly mom that purely benefits my child to my to do list.  I believe in exclusive breastfeeding for the health benefits but I believe in it more for the spiritual molasses I hope it creates in my life; a specific time that I will have to slow down and take rest.  That it will require of my a spiritual peacefulness, or at least create moments of this, and allow me to enter into the spiritual aspects of motherhood.  It's for these reasons that I choose to cloth diaper and breastfeed.  Because I hope that some day motherhood will seem innate.

Oh, and I've already bought Little Mac her own amber necklace :)

Note:  My friend Lindsay pointed out that I perhaps did not describe accurately enough what type of "mother" I was describing.  The best way that I could describe it to her was the kind of mother that makes you feel guilty for eating a store bought granola bar and not a homemade one, the kind of mother that grows all the produce their family consumes and has no problem whipping up homemade everything from cloths to food.  Hopefully that helps clarify who I mean.  The mothers that are so self-sacrificing because they believe it will make them and their families better people.

Other Posts about Cloth Diapers
{Read: List of Resources for Cloth Diapers}
{Read: Cloth Diapers: The Resources}


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